There's an emptiness that fills my heart

Published on January 11, 2006 By PJ_ In Sex & Romance

Okay, I'm trying this again. This is going to be the second half of the article I wrote last night. Link

Hey, what do you suppose Googe's PageRank algorithm makes of links that have "link" as their text? Does it make the linked page more relevant to the word "link," or do you think links like that are common enough that they figure it doesn't mean anything?

My head's a little clearer tonight then it was last night, I think. It's hard to explain something when you're getting all emotional about it. Now, where were we? Gray's Anatomy: 90% about sex lives. I'm going to pull a number out of my head and say that a third of all songs on the radio are about love, sex, or some related subject. I see articles like this one posted here yesterday all the time. Apparently Jamaican adolescents are fucking like bunnies. And "even among high school students in Los Angeles who [are] virgins, 10 percent [have] engaged in oral sex." Half the time when I log on to Hotmail I see a headline from some article from MSN Dating & Personals in the sidebar. I heard a priest of the radio talking about resisting the temptations of casual sex. A girl I know who graduated from college last year said that she had "held onto her virginity." Apparently, almost everyone is involved in relationships, dating, and having sex. And if they're not actually having sex, that represents an exercise of will power on their part.

This seems to be an enormous part of everyone's life. But it's not a part of my life. And that's not an act of will power on my part. What is it? Lack of opportunity? Fear of ever getting close to anyone? Yeah, I think that's it. Maybe. Kind of. I want to be close, but if I'm not already close to someone then I don't trust them enough to try. So I want to be close to someone, but not anyone in particular. Sounds ass-backwards, but I think that's the way it is.

I don't think I captured the emotion I was feeling about this last night. I'm missing a great part of the human experience, and there's an emptiness there. It aches sometimes. Sometimes it's really bad. I said I watched half of that Gray's Anatomy recap. I just... didn't want to watch the rest of it.

Comments

No one has commented on this article. Be the first!

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!