Directly from my brain and onto the internet.
and therefore the most sinful
Published on January 5, 2006 By PJ_ In Humor
I've heard a lot of talk from religious types about abortions and birth control. It kills babies, they say. And it undermines God's plan for human sexuality. "It's procreation, not recreation." So what do they say people--teenagers and adults alike--should do instead of practicing so-called "safe sex"? Practice abstinence.

But think about this for a second. How does the "morning after" pill work? It prevents the sperm from uniting with the egg by chemical means. How do condoms work? They prevent the sperm from uniting with the egg by putting a physical barrier between them. Abstinence prevents the sperm from uniting with the egg by keeping them from getting anywhere near each other. It's one step beyond a condom.

If the Catholic Church has been opposed to condoms for so long, how can they support abstinence?

God didn't give men and women these neat interlocking parts so they could enjoy seeing how they fit together, right? He gave them to us so that we could bring more of His children into the world. Did he create the sperm and egg so they could be thrown in the garbage or flushed down the toilet? Of course not! They're living things. And not just any living things, but human things. Each one is half of a person.

And yet every month literally billions of women are content to let one of these potential children slip away. Men are even more guilty. Even if they never masturbate, they're still producing sperm, which die and are reabsorbed by the body.

Think of all the lives cut short by abortions. Then think of all the potential lives thwarted by pills and condoms. Now think about all the innocent souls that were unable to come into this world because of abstinence. Abortion doctors look like saints compared to the perpetrators of this massacre.

So what can you do to stop this prenatal carnage from happening? If you're a woman, you need to have sex (natural sex, without any condoms or chemicals) at least once a month, during ovulation. Try not to be too upset if you still have a few "periods" every once in a while, between pregnancies. God calls all of his children back to him eventually, he just called your children sooner than others. As long as you're sincerely trying, it doesn't make you a bad mother.

Guys, the burden falls a little bit harder on you. Obviously it's impossible for all of your sperm to grow up to become children. But you do have the obligation to give as many of them as possible the chance to become children. Your body produces sperm much more quickly than a woman's body produces eggs. In order to give each of them a chance, you need to have sex at least every other day. Less often and you risk making the number of sperm killed and reabsorbed unnecessarily high. But be careful not to sexually exhaust yourself! If you're too overtaxed to get it up at all you're not going to give any of your children a chance at life.

I'd like to close this article with some statistics:

Estrogen/Progestin pill: 95% of babies killed
Male Latex Condom: 86% of babies killed
Sex without birth control: 15% of babies killed

Only abstinence kills 100% of all babies.
Source: U.S. Food and Drug Administration

Comments
on Jan 05, 2006
ROFL! More bullshit.

Are you related to D. G perhaps?
on Jan 05, 2006
Thanks for the laugh PJ!!!

I'm wondering how many people will read this article without noticing that it's listed under "humor"... and fail to catch it. ;~D
on Jan 06, 2006

If the Catholic Church has been opposed to condoms for so long, how can they support abstinence?

If you listened to Pope john Paul II, you would have heard him say that abstinance, used in the wrong way, is morally wrong!  Guess you have to say the Catholic Church is agin that one as well!

But, you bring up an interesting point.  If Abstinance is bad, then does that make all the priests sinful (or most of them at least) since they vow a life of celibacy?

Do you realize the can of worms you just opened?

on Jan 03, 2007
Very good site! I like it! Thanks!
on Jan 03, 2007
Very good site! I like it! Thanks!